Down The Rabbit Hole

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While I was sitting on the bus today, I caught myself thinking about how a few weeks ago another driver wouldn’t let me off the bus at the traffic lights. I didn’t know the bus was detouring and I had missed my stop.This particular driver was so rude to me even though I asked him nicely. to let me off. I was so upset that day. When I remembered that scenario I was mentally back in that moment. So much so that I got so angry all over again! So mad that I wished that driver was miserable in his life!

It may have been a natural reaction for me to be upset. To be angry at that moment. That bus driver may have been wrong to be rude to me. But for me to relive that moment and hold on to my anger was my choice. To be unforgiving and wish that he was miserable was a sin. In fact who was benefitting from me to holding on to this outrage? That man was not there, in fact, he could have been somewhere sunny on the beach sipping on an ice-cold cocktail. Here I was in freezing cold Toronto angry at him because he did not let me off the bus.

It sounds ridiculous now to you because you’re not the one on the chopping board, but let’s face it; We do this all the time! Remeber the cliched phrase that “Forgiveness is for you and not the other person”?  This is what they mean by it. If you refuse to forgive, you’re only hurting yourself and no one else.

I had a moment of weakness and slipped down the rabbit hole, but I caught myself before bitterness could erode my soul. Forgive us our sin as we forgive those who sin against us…

Enjoy Your Weekend!

What Is your Story?

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“I was driving in my brand new Landrover Discovery, I was so broke and miserable that I could not even afford petrol. I stopped at the red light, and I saw two homeless men under the bridge laughing so hard. I’ve never been more envious, in my whole life.” 

This were the words of South African celebrity Somizi Mhlongo. He was talking about a low point in his long career in show business. The rawness of his words, his courage to show his vulnerability is really inspiring to me because my current biggest fear is to share my truth, even though I am deeply compelled to do it.

Your story is medicine to fellow human beings. For them to know that you’ve overcome what they are going through gives them the courage to keep pushing forward, to keep fighting, to keep dreaming of a brighter tomorrow.

Tell your story, those who don’t get it will laugh, those get it will admire your courage and those who really need it will be healed and inspired by it. Shout it out from the rooftops. Reveal your innermost fears. You have an obligation to your fellow mankind.

Give your story as a gift us because in the words of Tao Te Chin “The heart that gives gathers.”

Have a blessed week ahead.

 

You Changed Your Hair!

Black Hair

Black hair has the most extensive variety of textures. As creative beings, we took this range of textures and used it to create many styles. Locs, natural hair, wigs, braids, weaves… You name it, we got it. The creativity that we bring into our hairstyles is one of the most appropriated by high fashion houses and yet most ridiculed.

Black hair as it naturally grows out of the scalp has been deemed unprofessional and unpresentable. Most workplaces have rules prohibiting Afros and dreadlocks. In this day and age. By merely wearing an Afro you’re considered to be anti-white or trying to make a political statement rather than simply allowing your hair to be the way it was created to be.

You have changed your hair! This is a statement.  Not a question and not a compliment. It is mere observation. Sometimes it’s an accusation lased with so much malice that you feel ashamed for being created differently. Sometimes it is stated condescendingly that you wonder “Does this person really feel superior to me because I get to change my hair?”

I once complimented a Philipino young woman on her new haircut, and she responded by saying “I should have given you the hair I cut off”. I said “I love my own hair” She repeated my statement “I love my own hair” silently to herself like she just realised that I a black woman could possibly love my hair.

Then there are questions from colleagues, strangers and friends. How much does it cost? How long does it take? Is that Your real hair? I can I touch it? Can I smell it? (I’ve had someone come up to me and sniff my hair. Smelled like coconut oil but still. Rude!) Do you wash it? You have every right to refuse to answer any of these questions and to not engage in this conversation. You don’t really need to explain yourself to anyone. You don’t owe anyone an answer.

Being made to feel like you’re less than because of the texture of your hair is the same as being made to feel less than because of the colour of your skin.

I still don’t know how to respond to the statement “you changed your hair”. Do y’all have any suggestions?

Aspirations for 2018

Now that we got the lessons down we look ahead at what we aspire to achieve this year. Go into your mind’s eye and envision the kind of life you wish to live this year and then come back to the present and put that vision to work! Planning I find is the most important thing. Set goals. Daily goals, monthly and an overall year goal. What is that you want to achieve this year and how are you going to reach it? I saw a perfect meme that said “If you don’t work, you’ll spend the rest of your life screaming, I receive in church” and even the Bible agrees.

What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? James 2:14

Continue what you started last year, just go harder at it this year. This year started on a Monday for a reason. It’ll put us all to work. Be strategic and remember to always put God first.

Happy New Year!

 

 

7 Lessons From 2017

They say never look back unless you’re trying to see how far you come. I agree and to add to that I say look back and take the gifts with you, lessons are gifts wrapped up in pain.

  1. God. Keep Him number one in all that you do
  2. Go for it! Go for that one thing that you can’t stop thinking about. That something you’re obsessing about.
  3. Forgive, The faster you forgive, the happier you are. Write down in detail everything that hurt you, tear that paper up and never look back.
  4. Love yourself, love your neighbour too! We millennials have forgotten to love and care for one another.
  5. Any cent coming in is better than any cent going out. Multiple streams of income is the way to go. Every little cent counts.
  6. Turn ideas into action. People are out there eating big from their ideas. Put your ideas into action, and you’ll join them.
  7. If not now, when? When are you going to show us your gifts? You owe the world this. You owe yourself, and most importantly you owe God!

 

Have a prosperous 2018, I pray your cup overflows.