Shame, Shame Upon You…


Its take an incredible amount of courage it takes to live authentically. It’s really not easy to not hide behind a persona. To stand fully in who God created you to be and say to the world “Here I am and I am not apologising for anything”, To say “here I am, and I am equal to all of you”. I am equal to Monarchs, presidents, philosophers, pop stars and the homeless man on the street. Standing in your truth is not easy. If it were, we’d all be free from shame…

Shame a word that envokes the feeling of it just by saying. “Tohoni”, cower because who you are isn’t good enough. “Kenohoni”, because not being ashamed of who you are is somewhat a disgrace. These are regular everyday phrases that have put a burden on people for many generations. To not be ashamed is to defy cultural expectations that are placed on young people especially African women.


It’s much easier to hide behind a persona. People choose personas based on how they think is best to protect themselves from inner pain. Are you really the “angry black girl” or is that just a protection? Are you even angry? If so why? Do you want to shout from the rooftops, tell everyone the source of your anger? No? Why not? Is it because then they will see you and shame you for not being as perfect as you seem on the Gram?

What if you shouted and told everyone your pain and they say “I hear you” “I feel you” “I stand with you” “I support you” “I thank you, had you not said it. I would have died.”

Shout your pain from the rooftops. You will get shamed, ridiculed, you will receive support, and you might save a life. Live authentically for yourself, for others and for the glory of God.

A Happy Place

“I live in my head a lot. I might as well make it a happy place.”

This is what I said to myself after years of self-torture. I would wake up after a night of partying, and the first thing I would say to myself is “I have a headache, and I’m pretty sure God is upset with me”.

I would spend the rest of the day condemning myself because the word says drunkness is a sin. So now I am a worthless sinner. But in 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

We live in a generation of people cutting each other off. I mean this generation is brutal with the scissors!

in my head

Which is perfectly fine if that’s what you need to do, but if you really stopped and listened to half the things you say to yourself you might want to consider cutting yourself off as well cos you’re toxic to yourself and your own progress. Cut it out!

“You yourself as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection- Buddha”



Sisterhood to me means women coming together and empowering each other. It means having a sister’s back, defending her honour even when her back is turned. Defying the catty stereotype.

You may wonder why bother? Because we are stronger together. Imagine what we can achieve if we put down our claws and really got down to the business of helping each other take over boardrooms, politics, stock markets, arts, science… If you combine this with our compassion for humanity, our intuition and our motherly instincts that incomprehensibly powerful.

The reason why I’m addressing this is that for generations we’ve been fighting each other for crumbs. Fighting each other for the attention of men (Yikes! been there, done that) and many other petty reasons. Y’all know what I’m talking about the unnecessary shadiness to women you barely know.

Isn’t the battle hard enough for us? Why do we have to make each other fight twice the struggle? You go out into the workplace as woman underestimated, undervalued and underpaid and then come back to your social life to shady encounters from sisters who are fighting the very same battles. Why? We are better than this.

Watch Zimbabwean born actress Danai Gurira express my sentiments better than I could ever in her essence speech