19 Dec My biggest fear is…
I thought my biggest fear was snakes, but that’s not it. I went to the emergency on October 8th, I rarely get sick, so I was freaking out. It turned out to be nothing major. But as I sat there waiting for my test results, I was almost in tears because of the pain, but what was more traumatizing than the pain was that I have just found out what my passion is, I haven’t done much to impact humanity in a big way through my gift. So I kept saying to myself “I just cannot die yet.”
The fear was not death itself the fear was dying before I can make a difference. Dying before I have released all the stuff God put in me. So when the test results came back all clear. Why did I go back to my comfort zone? Ordering chicken wings and loaded fries. Like I didn’t have a fear of not releasing all my stuff? SMH. I know I can do better.
The funny thing is I always think I am too old and I haven’t achieved this and that. And when I thought I was going to die I was crying “Lord please I’m too young.” It reminded me of a story, some of you may know it; This guy had lost his mother, and he was wailing and crying saying “take me with you mom, Take me with you.” he was particularly dramatic as they lowered the casket into the ground he fell into the hole. He freaked out and screamed “Not today!”
Is anyone ready for death? Maybe those who have done their work and lived up to their fullest potential. I Know I’m not there yet. Thoughts?