09 Nov The Plan
I’ve decided not to run anymore. I’m standing and facing the truth of who I am. I am bitter, angry, disappointed and hurt. These are not new feelings. I have bee collecting them and storing them for a rainy day. I did not realize that these feelings were slowing rusting my soul, infecting me from within. I’ve waited too long, wasted too much time. I wanted to be in charge of this one part of me. I was ready to give you everything but this. I thought if there’s anything I could handle this was it. Yet here I am. Humiliated, back with a tail between my legs.
She was allowed to ramble on and on for about an hour and before a response was given. She stood up and left the room without so much as a good night. The pain of seeing her suffer was unbearable. To think she was choosing pain over comfort was crushing.
“Come back! I’m here for you!”
She was gone…
Everything has fallen apart. It feels like a hurricane was here and turned my life upside down. Everything I was holding together is scattered around and the roof that was covering my dignity is gone. I am exposed I never felt more naked in my life. What am I going to do? She began to weep. She wept uncontrollably for hours. “I need a plan, please!” She hollered.
“I have a plan!” before the plan was announced she continued weeping louder as she indulged in more and more self-pity. She wept until she fell asleep.
How much longer? I’m so tired. I’ve cried so much that my soul is exhausted. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do. So please tell me what to do…
She bowed her head and waited this time, the answer came. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11